goals, shins, and disapointment

Few people know. I didn't want to tell a whole bunch of people because #1) I didn't want to fail too many people if I didn't actually do it. #2) I wanted this to be a personal goal attained without a lot of fanfare -- that could come after the victory.

On January 10th, I began training for my first triathalon.

On April 24th, I reached my goal of biking 22 miles. During that week, I also swam my 1/4 mile in 12 minutes and actually ran my 3 miles without stopping. According to the training schedule, I was in good enough shape to actually DO the triathalon, so we (me and my work out partner) concentrated on biking hills and running hills. It was painful. It was awful. But, I felt good knowing that I was doing something that I had set out to do. I was excited.

In the middle of May during a girl's trip to the beach, I was on a street run one morning with a few friends. I felt some strange feelings in my shin. The pain got worse, so I figured I should stop and walk a bit. Upon walking, the pain was worse - so, I continued to run. After I had tears running down my face, I decided that this wasn't smart. I took off my shoes (as if that would help) - and walked home on the beach. (again, not sure if this was the smart thing to do in the soft sand - but I just wanted to get home ... fast). I wasn't sure if I had ever felt that sort of pain in my shins - I have had shin splints in the past.

I endured. I took the weekend off - and started again on Monday. Biking ... and swimming. Avoiding the fact that my shins felt like they had been ripped from the bone. Funny thing - that's exactly what has been happening.

Taking into the equation that I play tennis 3 to 4 times a week - I had a decision to make. The doc said - tennis? or running? What is your choice. Based on the fact that running has always been my own personal HELL - that was a no brainer for me.

The last little tidbit that if I injured my shin too much more .. I could end up with lifelong injuries. There is evidence of a few slight stress fractures on my shin ... not good. So, I had to make the really hard decision - quit the training for the triathlon. {hitting 'publish on this blog is one of the hardest things ...an admission of a goal unattained and a sense of failing myself}

So, I'm disapointed. I trained. I sweated. I got sick from the wet hair in 25 degree weather ... going from the gym to the car. I conquered fears and reached goals. The main goal, however, was not attained. I will not finish the triathlon on June 29th. But, I'll be there ... cheering on my friends. My work out buddies -- I want to watch them fulfill their dream.

Now, we are talking about doing a 'relay' type triathlon where I could do the swim part for a group and we would all finish together at the finish line .... i'll let you know.