"That Mom"

You know her.

She's what you call a 'helicopter mom' - never takes her eyes off her kids.

She sides with her kids - not the teacher.

She intervenes constantly - helping her kids to never feel the sting of rejection or the hurt of being ignored.... she's always there, making sure her kids feel nothing but bliss.

Here is the fine line -

When DO you intervene?

Today, I came face to face with that line .... do I say something? or, do I let my sweet T be taken advantage of time and time again?

Now, let me preface this by saying I have never been a 'helicopter mom'. In fact, I am probably too trusting of the general public. And, I know I probably give T more credit than is due him by thinking he will not go outside with out me, he will stay in the general area of where I am at all times (grocery store, mall, school, etc...).

It would have to be BLANTANT ugliness by a teacher for me to side with my child over the teacher. I was raised that the 'teacher is always right' and we are heading down that same path with our children.

Here's the set up. I am at the courts playing tennis with friends and the kiddos are playing. (This is not unusual - except that the 'normal' boys there - the sweet ones - weren't there) So, T is playing baseball (as usual) with the boys. They are all older than him, but my boy can play some ball and he hangs with them really well. Most of them are in 3rd-5th grade. [T is in K]From the tennis court I can see the line waiting to bat. And I see him every inning get squeezed out to the back of the line.

I'd almost had enough, so when T came back to field the balls - he was right beside my fence. I said, "T! Come here. Have you batted yet?" .... 'No.' ---- Me: "Well, the next time your team is at bat, you tell them that you are batting! You don't let them get in front of you!"

He says, "Ok" - the pleaser, non confrontational.

Well, I see it happening again. This time, a little twerp (doesn't live in our neighborhood) is taking the bat out of T's hand - I had enough. T had enough and his anger turned to tears.

It happened.

I went up to the fence. I put my hands on my hips. And, I said....ok, yelled. "BOYS, listen to me! If you guys can't play fair - you won't play at all (as if I have the authority). It is his turn to play and you need to let him bat!"

Of course, there is no 'yes ma'am' (kids these days!) --- only a "we are going to let him!" response. [Some of these moms were playing tennis with me and ended up going over there to be sure that things were ok].

T wasn't embarassed (thankfully) about my outburst. I guess he would be if he was older. I know that I need to let him fight his own battles. But, there is just a line that I think we need to be an advocate for our children. I'm sure that some of those moms/my friends were looking at me like I was 'that mom' - but at that moment - I didn't care. Yes, I made a comment when I got back in position ... something like, "I know. I know. I am THAT MOM ... but, I just couldn't take it anymore." They all laughed and apologized.

So, how far do you go? Tommy tells me I did the right thing. And, I feel better now that I've gotten it off my chest. Sometimes I wonder if I am more worried about what my friends are going to think of me ... rather than what is best for my child. Was it right to do that? Should i have just stood there and watched a little boy take the bat out of T's hand for the 4th time? Should I have let him cry and storm off? Was I trying to protect him too much?

Ugh ... it just gets harder and harder. All you people of little babies. You just wait. It is no longer a little 18 month old bully taking his toy ... this is his self confidence and the building of character.

Yikes. Lord ... HELP ME!

the picture above was not taken today ... it was taken on Sunday when we were all outside throwing the ball and i had to break the news to the kiddos that it was bath time. he pouted ....